I haven’t posted in awhile, mainly because our house is a complete mess and I’m having a hard time being inspired to write about the feelings of anxiety I have (almost) every time I walk in the back door.
This farmhouse has been a dream of mine since we moved to town 15 years ago. I actually remember the first time we drove down the road and saw it, looking out over the valley.
And I still love this place. But living in day-to-day disorganization (why unpack all of the kitchen gadgets when we’re going to remodel the kitchen in a few months and I’ll have to pack it all back up again?), the dust (HVAC is being installed, which means there’s not a room on any floor that hasn’t been affected by the contractors), a major holiday that my children still want to decorate for (did I mention the dust? That’s a ton of fun to get off of Christmas decorations), and the overall feeling of temporary that living in a house while it’s being restored contains, it’s definitely not Insta-worthy, or even blog worthy.
This weekend, one of my favorite websites, Style by Emily Henderson, had a post from the main writer Emily, who has been blogging for 12 years. She nailed it for me when she expressed similar feelings of showing perfection while in the middle of an imperfect reality. “Going back to perfectly produced everything gave me anxiety and just didn’t feel right. I mean I’m living in a house with sheets on the windows for curtains and renovating what feels like an absolute mud/money-pit.”
She’s not wrong – it creates real anxiety. And our family is totally living there.
So look, to be candid – I’m never going to be Insta-famous. I’ll probably never have 500,000 followers or major companies to sponsor my purchases. Why? Because I am not going to post about perfection. What you’ll see on this site is the reality of renovations – the good, the bad and the ugly. You’ll see that real life is not a six-week HGTV makeover with only one minor hiccup designed to keep the storyline somewhat interesting. I’ll whine about dust and clutter and the general upheaval. I’ll write about my inability to make a decision, when what we envisioned doesn’t work out well, and when it’s “good enough.” Hopefully you’ll stick with me to see the end result. That’s what will feel right to me.
Thanks for hanging in there. In the meantime, I have some dusting to do.